Tunzogcap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, awesome guinea pig.

Tunzogcap created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunzogcap, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tunzogcap, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tunzogcap's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tunzogcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tunzogcap's name in vain.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Do not kill foxes.