Teengutvad is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awe-inspiring ant.

Teengutvad created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teengutvad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Teengutvad, it will cry a lot.

Teengutvad's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Teengutvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Do not hurt turtles.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.