Bedtagran is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage dove.

Bedtagran created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedtagran, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bedtagran, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bedtagran's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bedtagran's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bedtagran five times a day.

2. Never mention tapirs.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not jump in public.