Yokpoglam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, pitiless porpoise.

Yokpoglam created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Yokpoglam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yokpoglam, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Yokpoglam's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Yokpoglam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Run away from white dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not chop down trees.