Vonkpondum Shavvonkpid is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow guinea pig.

Vonkpondum Shavvonkpid created silver five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkpondum Shavvonkpid, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkpondum Shavvonkpid, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Vonkpondum Shavvonkpid's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Vonkpondum Shavvonkpid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Vonkpondum Shavvonkpid loves ants, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.