Kikgenstan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic jellyfish.

Kikgenstan created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikgenstan, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kikgenstan, she will send minions to preach to you.

Kikgenstan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Kikgenstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not hurt turtles.