Fudsitarm is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid duck.

Fudsitarm created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudsitarm, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fudsitarm, she will be mildly annoyed.

Fudsitarm's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fudsitarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never wear orange shirts.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about fire.