Xenbiflun is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, grumpy mole.

Xenbiflun created the Andromeda Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xenbiflun, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Xenbiflun, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Xenbiflun's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Xenbiflun's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. Ducks are not to be trusted.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not take Xenbiflun's name in vain.

5. Respect your elders.