Largyarltin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, ill-tempered bird.

Largyarltin created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Largyarltin, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Largyarltin, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Largyarltin's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Largyarltin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Largyarltin loves swans, so they must be honoured.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.