Goftarcidtitstragveg is a god.

It takes the form of a small, selfish naga.

Goftarcidtitstragveg created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Goftarcidtitstragveg, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Goftarcidtitstragveg, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Goftarcidtitstragveg's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Goftarcidtitstragveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.