Pakzagfatfat is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, able lion.

Pakzagfatfat created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakzagfatfat, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pakzagfatfat, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Pakzagfatfat's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Pakzagfatfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help cats.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

5. Do not jump in public.