Gessgubnak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, impressive armadillo.

Gessgubnak created the Black Eye Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gessgubnak, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gessgubnak, it will have a low opinion of you.

Gessgubnak's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gessgubnak's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gessgubnak.

2. Do not eat aubergines.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Always help swans in need.

5. Never eat green fruit.