Lagflapyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced dolphin.

Lagflapyarp created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Lagflapyarp, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lagflapyarp, she will remove you from existence.

Lagflapyarp's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Lagflapyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help foxes in need.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.