Dogyarpgun Tomtomfid Lancunhudnarl is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, staggering raven.

Dogyarpgun Tomtomfid Lancunhudnarl created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Dogyarpgun Tomtomfid Lancunhudnarl, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dogyarpgun Tomtomfid Lancunhudnarl, it will have a low opinion of you.

Dogyarpgun Tomtomfid Lancunhudnarl's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dogyarpgun Tomtomfid Lancunhudnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.