Flamquatflab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unjust wasp.

Flamquatflab created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flamquatflab, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamquatflab, she will try to impress you with trees.

Flamquatflab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Flamquatflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Do not commit murder.