Wonsabfas is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, temperamental snail.

Wonsabfas created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonsabfas, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wonsabfas, she will turn you into a mole.

Wonsabfas' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Wonsabfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never write about cell theory.