Sigcapnurduss is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, loving meerkat.

Sigcapnurduss created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sigcapnurduss, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sigcapnurduss, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Sigcapnurduss' most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Sigcapnurduss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green turtles for they are unholy.

2. Never feed beans to doves while wearing black shirts.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Sigcapnurduss.

4. Do not eat grapes.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.