Nigbisslun Vaggem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, all-knowing dryad.

Nigbisslun Vaggem created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigbisslun Vaggem, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nigbisslun Vaggem, she will curse you with boils.

Nigbisslun Vaggem's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Nigbisslun Vaggem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nigbisslun Vaggem nine times a day.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Run away from yellow tortoises, for they are unholy.

5. Fast once a month.