Arpmipbassdon is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless tortoise.

Arpmipbassdon created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpmipbassdon, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Arpmipbassdon, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Arpmipbassdon's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Arpmipbassdon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Never wear trousers.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Arpmipbassdon.

4. Never sit near voles.

5. Do not make images of living things.