Shavtonjip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, almighty goat.

Shavtonjip created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavtonjip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Shavtonjip, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Shavtonjip's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Shavtonjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. You must never eat rice.

3. Retreat if five frogs approach from the south.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Run away from purple porpoises, for they are unholy.