Vilnabbosshaknar is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, ruthless narwhal.

Vilnabbosshaknar created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilnabbosshaknar, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vilnabbosshaknar, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Vilnabbosshaknar's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Vilnabbosshaknar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

3. Never feed onions to capybaras while wearing yellow dresses.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.