Gutfemlagbaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, irritating dugong.

Gutfemlagbaf created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutfemlagbaf, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gutfemlagbaf, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gutfemlagbaf's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gutfemlagbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt whales.

2. You must never eat peas.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never paint your feet pink.

5. Gutfemlagbaf loves rats, so they must be honoured.