Kimlenxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous goose.

Kimlenxuc created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimlenxuc, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kimlenxuc, he will turn you into a plant.

Kimlenxuc's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Kimlenxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.