Cettailgep is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, able crab.

Cettailgep created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cettailgep, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cettailgep, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cettailgep's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Cettailgep's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never eat onions.