Bapgebnill is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-knowing dryad.

Bapgebnill created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapgebnill, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bapgebnill, it will make you grow a tail.

Bapgebnill's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bapgebnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Feed all hungry moths.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not kill goats.