Quaftiggat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, capable fish.

Quaftiggat created an atom two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaftiggat, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quaftiggat, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Quaftiggat's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Quaftiggat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to mice while wearing white ear rings.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always help whales.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not commit murder.