Begtun is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, sapient crow.

Begtun created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begtun, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Begtun, it will turn you into a rock.

Begtun's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Begtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Hide if three grasshopers approach from the south.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.