Kimtailcat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, amazing tapir.

Kimtailcat created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kimtailcat, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kimtailcat, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kimtailcat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kimtailcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Kimtailcat loves turtles, so they must be respected.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Feed all hungry badgers.