Bottombasstanfatbast Padbedlakyam is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, sapient scorpion.

Bottombasstanfatbast Padbedlakyam created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bottombasstanfatbast Padbedlakyam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bottombasstanfatbast Padbedlakyam, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bottombasstanfatbast Padbedlakyam's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bottombasstanfatbast Padbedlakyam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never wear shirts.