Tarpkenyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast hedgehog.

Tarpkenyarl created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpkenyarl, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarpkenyarl, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tarpkenyarl's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Tarpkenyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray dogs, for they are unholy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Feed all hungry grasshopers.
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