Dagfumnan Higriphom Dutominflap is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unthoughtful mouse.

Dagfumnan Higriphom Dutominflap created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dagfumnan Higriphom Dutominflap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dagfumnan Higriphom Dutominflap, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dagfumnan Higriphom Dutominflap's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Dagfumnan Higriphom Dutominflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill porpoises.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Retreat if four turtles approach from the north.

5. Put Dagfumnan Higriphom Dutominflap first in all things.