Nuldabcet is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish newt.

Nuldabcet created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuldabcet, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nuldabcet, she will try to impress you with trees.

Nuldabcet's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Nuldabcet's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nuldabcet.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never laugh near manatees.

5. Never paint your hands orange.