Natjinmet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful deer.

Natjinmet created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Natjinmet, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Natjinmet, he will come to you in dreams.

Natjinmet's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Natjinmet's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Natjinmet five times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Natjinmet.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.