Farmumflamciss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy goose.

Farmumflamciss created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Farmumflamciss, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Farmumflamciss, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Farmumflamciss' most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Farmumflamciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Farmumflamciss must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must never eat strawberries.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.