Hampigxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonest fish.

Hampigxuc created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hampigxuc, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hampigxuc, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hampigxuc's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Hampigxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about swans.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Run away from black nematodes, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear violet ear rings.

5. Hampigxuc loves monkeys, so they must be respected.