Gesstenkim is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, caring swan.

Gesstenkim created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gesstenkim, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gesstenkim, it will be very sad.

Gesstenkim's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gesstenkim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gesstenkim.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not speak about carrots.