Vilbimdid Tamtagsaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humorless gerbil.

Vilbimdid Tamtagsaf created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilbimdid Tamtagsaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vilbimdid Tamtagsaf, he will remove you from existence.

Vilbimdid Tamtagsaf's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Vilbimdid Tamtagsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not eat parsnips.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Vilbimdid Tamtagsaf on top of important buildings.