Metflamtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating dugong.

Metflamtaf created the Sunflower Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metflamtaf, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Metflamtaf, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Metflamtaf's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Metflamtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

3. Always treat foxes with great respect.

4. Always obey Metflamtaf's priests.

5. Always pray immersed in water.