Vabbenbellcib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, tiresome lion.

Vabbenbellcib created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabbenbellcib, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vabbenbellcib, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vabbenbellcib's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Vabbenbellcib's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Vabbenbellcib.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide if six snails approach from the east.