Safpangtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless weasel.

Safpangtarp created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Safpangtarp, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Safpangtarp, she will turn you into a sheep.

Safpangtarp's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Safpangtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Hide if four otters approach from the south.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never eat bark.