Vadwignar is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, capable bat.

Vadwignar created time and space five million years ago.

If you believe in Vadwignar, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vadwignar, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vadwignar's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vadwignar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Vadwignar loves snails, so they must be respected.

4. Never feed beans to shrews while wearing blue coats.

5. Do not commit murder.