Bombatfit is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, bad-tempered dugong.

Bombatfit created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bombatfit, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bombatfit, she will turn you into a plant.

Bombatfit's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bombatfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about porpoises.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.