Stafcimwankenfatnellbellcap is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, moody jackal.

Stafcimwankenfatnellbellcap created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafcimwankenfatnellbellcap, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stafcimwankenfatnellbellcap, he will curse you with boils.

Stafcimwankenfatnellbellcap's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Stafcimwankenfatnellbellcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Voles are not to be trusted.

3. Run away from turquoise turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never wear blue tights.