Teenhaswab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, overgenerous tapir.

Teenhaswab created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Teenhaswab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Teenhaswab, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Teenhaswab's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Teenhaswab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Teenhaswab on top of all buildings.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always obey Teenhaswab's priests.