Padtengeb is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, caring beaver.

Padtengeb created the planet Jupiter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padtengeb, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Padtengeb, he will turn you into a goat.

Padtengeb's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Padtengeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always help dogs.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always pray immersed in water.