Quillnuttgab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, smart mongoose.

Quillnuttgab created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillnuttgab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quillnuttgab, it will remove you from existence.

Quillnuttgab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Quillnuttgab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Never pour water over plants.