Cedbif is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, duplicitous jaguar.

Cedbif created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Cedbif, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cedbif, she will remove you from existence.

Cedbif's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Cedbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises in need.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never paint your legs red.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never look in ponds.