Citbigbast is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish dog.

Citbigbast created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citbigbast, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Citbigbast, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Citbigbast's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Citbigbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near eagles.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

3. You must never eat onions.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not cook food in pots.