Xenjendob is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, fussy coyote.

Xenjendob created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenjendob, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xenjendob, she will turn you into a dog.

Xenjendob's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Xenjendob's Holy Commandments

1. Put Xenjendob first in all things.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Xenjendob.

5. Never write about gravity.