Fossortquimhigrutbell is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish monkey.

Fossortquimhigrutbell created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossortquimhigrutbell, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fossortquimhigrutbell, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fossortquimhigrutbell's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fossortquimhigrutbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Fossortquimhigrutbell's priests.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Run away if seven monkeys approach from the north.

5. Do not chop down trees.